32 Terrible Bike Puns To Grind Your Friends’ Gears

Let’s talk wheel for a minute.

Sometimes, cyclists take it all too seriously and it can get pretty tire-ing (you get some real cycle-paths out there).

That’s why it’s good to ease it down a gear and take a little brake every now and then.

It’s in this spirit that we’ve decided to muster together the absolute best bike puns to bring some humour (or cringe) to the table and keep you in a positive frame of mind.

So, without further ado, let’s get pedalling.

Ready, (ca)sette, go!

32 Terrible Bike Puns: Title Image

#1:

Her knowledge of cycling vocabulary was incredible: she was an absolute en-cyclo-pedia.

#2:

He kept telling her she’d be much better off with Presta valves, but no matter what, he couldn’t perSchrader.

#3:

The punishment for bringing a hardtail to the mountain biking race?

He was issued a full suspension.

#4:

Did you hear how much Lance Armstrong’s water bottle sold for at auction?

I can’t believe anyone even bidon it.

#5

I can’t believe I’ve been kicked out of the cycling club pub crawl.

I guess I just can’t handlebars.

#6:

I spend lots of time fixing up old bikes.

I guess you could say I love to re-cycle.

#7:

My wheels fell off midway through the endurance race.

I was forced to stop even though I wasn’t tire-d.

#8:

During a marathon bike race, he had a big crash and badly injured his left leg.

He flew off his bike and Randonée straight into a lamppost.

A cyclist in a blue jersey grins with both thumbs up.
Two thumbs up from this chap for our terrible bike puns.

#9:

She rode the bumpiest mountain trails without ever having suspension, and yet, her coccyx never hurt.

She had a hardtail indeed.

#10:

He loves to cycle up really steep hills even though he has a fixie.

He’s absolutely gearless.

#11:

As an avid cyclist and raver, my favourite music genre is cy-trance.

#12:

I tricycle everyday, but riding on two wheels is just too hard.

#13:

By understanding his opponent’s mental state and anticipating their next moves, he was able to outperform them and win the race.

In this way, he was a master of cyclo-logy.

#14:

I did a freestyle rap about the new handlebars on my road bike.

Yeah, I drop bars on the regular.

#15:

I accidentally cycled over the rear half of a fish when cycling by the docks and my back wheel locked up.

The fishtail almost threw me off my bike.

#16:

She used to give public talks explaining how to true bike wheels.

She was a true spokeswoman.

A woman in a grey top smiles as she leans on her bike's handlebars.

#17:

The only way to get to my destination was through a bunch of muddy fields: I had no option but to cyclocross.

#18:

By snipping her gear levers, he was able to completely derailleur performance.

#19:

I tried to keep up with the other riders, but without any way to attach my feet to the pedals, I com-cleatly failed.

#20:

Due to the hurricane, no one else wanted to join me on my ride.

I was forced to cyclone.

#21:

I’m addicted to riding my bike backwards all day.

I’m stuck in a negative cycle.

#22:

I was so inspired by my bike wheel I decided to create some art about it.

It was spoken word.

#23:

Some sports fans don’t like cycling, but in my opinion, it’s the wheelest sport there is.

#24:

Someone stole all the components off of my friend’s bike and put what was left into my garden.

I’d been framed.

A man grins and pumps his fist while carrying a grey road bike.

#25:

The bike felt too big for her, yet, the frame was the right size.

Luckily, the bike fitter knew exactly where the issue stemmed from.

#26:

I try so hard to keep up with the breakaway and I peloton, yet I never make it.

#27:

I want a break but I’m scared the brakes might break if I brake.

#28:

I was riding way too fast. I had to take a brake.

#29:

He thought he would never get over the stress of trying to get his bike wheel off.

Turns out all he needed was a quick release.

#30:

To keep things interesting, the soigneur decided to hand some fruit to the rider along with his usual food and drink.

Guess you could call it a satsu-musette.

#31:

Removing her entire crankset before the race and freewheeling the entire way?

She’s absolutely off the chain!

#32:

Someone at my cycling club loves to take cocaine and alternate between cycling really fast and then really slow.

He’s a real gearhead.

A cyclist in a blue jersey smiles as he stands in a forest clearing.

Bike Puns Roundup

There we have it! 32 bicycle puns about bikes to really grind your friends’ gears. And we managed to do it without including a single wheelie/really pun the entire time.

(Well, we wheelie tried at least.)

Enjoyed these biking puns? Check out more from the BikeTips team in the links below!

Photo of author
Hailing from Brighton, UK, Felix is a lover of running, cycling, and all things active. When he's not exploring a remote corner of the globe on a bike-packing trip, Felix enjoys meditating, making music, and running as far as his legs will let him!

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